The Sun God explains good humor!

These had to be published in my rag.. thanks Sol,

When  Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The  exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were  my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink  it."

A  member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or  of some unspeakable disease."
"That  depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your  mistress."

"He  had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He  has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston  Churchill

"I  have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow

"He  has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the  dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest  Hemingway).

"Thank  you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -  Moses Hadas

"I  didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."  - Mark Twain

"He  has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar  Wilde

"I  am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend....  if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston  Churchill
"Cannot  possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." -  Winston Churchill, in response.

"I  feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen  Bishop

"He  is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John  Bright

"I've  just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S.  Cobb

"He  is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel  Johnson

"He  is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul  Keating

"In  order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles,  Count Talleyrand

"He  loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest  Tucker

"Why  do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark  Twain

"His  mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae  West

"Some  cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar  Wilde

"He  uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather  than illumination." - Andrew Lang  (1844-1912)

"He  has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've  had a perfectly wonderful evening.But this  wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

100 years ago

1909 FORD Model R

Show this to your children and/or grandchildren

 

  

THE YEAR 1909

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!  
The year is 1909.  
One hundred years ago.  
What a difference a century makes!  
Here are some statistics for the Year 1909 :

************ ********* ********* ******

The average life expectancy was  47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles

Of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the  Eiffel   Tower!

The average wage in 1909 was 22 cents per hour.

The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year ..

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,  
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .

Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!

Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which

Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '

Sugar cost four cents a pound..

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair  once a month, and used

Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from

Entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza  
2. Tuberculosis  
3. Diarrhea  
4. Heart disease  
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of   Las Vegas ,  Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea

Hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health'

( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households had at least

One full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE !   U.S.A.  !

(Mainly because there was a firearm of some sort in almost every home!  An armed society is a POLITE society!!)

I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself. 
From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD - all in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

IT STAGGERS THE MIND

Car Czar

Chrysler's Railroad  This could be a scandal of epic proportions and one that makes Nixon's Watergate or Clinton 's Monica Lewinsky affair pale by comparison. Why was there neither rhyme nor reason as to which dealerships of the Chrysler Corporation were to be closed? Roll the clock back to the weeks just before Chrysler declared bankruptcy. Chrysler, like GM, was in dire financial straights and federal government "graciously" offered to "buy the company" and keep them out of bankruptcy and "save jobs." Chrysler was, in the words of Obama and his administration, "Too big to fail," same story with GM. The feds organized their "Automotive Task Force" to fix Chrysler and GM. Obama, in an act that is 100% unconstitutional, appointed a guy named Steve Rattner to be the White House's official Car Czar- literally - that's what his title is. Rattner is the liaison between Obama, Chrysler, and GM. Initially, the national media reported that Chrysler had made this list of dealerships. That is not true. The Washington Examiner, Newsmax, Fox New and a host of other news agencies discovered that the list of dealerships was put together by the "Automotive Task Force" headed by no one other then Mr. Steve Rattner.  Now the plot thickens. Remember earlier we said that there was neither rhyme nor reason why certain dealerships were closed? Actually there's a very interesting pattern as to who was closed down. Again, on May 27, 2009, The Washington Examiner and Newsmax exposed the connection. Amazingly, of the 789 dealerships closed by the federal government, 788 had donated money, exclusively to Republican political causes, while contributing nothing to Democratic political causes. The only "Democratic" dealership on the list was found to have donated $7,700 to Hillary's campaign, and a bit over $2,000 to John Edwards. This same dealership, reportedly, also gave $200.00 to Obama's campaign. Does that seem a little odd to you? Steve Rattner is the guy who put the list together. Well he happens to be married to a Maureen White. Maureen happens to be the former national finance chairman of the Democratic National Committee. As such, she has access to campaign donation records from everyone in the nation, Republican or Democrat. But of course, this is just a wacky "coincidence," we're certain. Then comes another really wacky "coincidence." On that list of dealerships being closed down, a weird thing happed in Arkansas , North Louisiana, and Southern Missouri . It seems that Bill Clinton's former White House Chief of Staff, Mack McClarty, owns a chain of dealership in that region, partnered with a fellow by the name of Robert Johnson. Johnson happens to be founder of Black Entertainment Television and was a huge Obama supporter and financier. These guys own a half dozen Chrysler stores under the company title of RLJ-McClarty-Landers. Interestingly, none of their dealerships were ordered closed - not one! while all of their competing Chrysler/Dodge and Jeep dealership were! Eight dealerships located near the dealerships owned by McClarty and Johnson were ordered shut down. Thus by pure luck, these two major Obama supporters now have virtual monopoly on Chrysler sales in their zone. Isn't that amazing? Go look in The Washington Examiner, the story's there, and it's in a dozen or so other web-based news organizations; this isn't being made up. Now if you thought Chrysler was owned by Fiat, you are mistaken. Under the federal court ruling, 65% of Chrysler is now owned by the federal government and the United Auto Worker's union- Fiat owns 20%. The other 15% is still privately owned and presumably will be traded on the stock market. Obama smiles and says he doesn't want to run the auto industry. As horrifying as this is to comprehend, and being as how this used to be the United States of America , it would appear that the president has the power to destroy private businesses and eliminate upwards of 100,000 jobs just because they don't agree with his political agenda. This is Nazi Germany stuff, and it's happening right here, right now, in our back yard. There are voices in Washington demanding an explanation, but the "Automotive Task Force" has released no information to the public or to any of the senators demanding answers for what has been done. Keep your ear to the ground for more on this story. If you've ever wanted to make a difference about anything in your life, get on the phone to your national senator or representative in the House and demand an investigation into this. Benjamin Franklin had it right when he said, "All that's necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." Car Czar No More An amazing thing happed as this story was going to press. Obama's Car Czar, Steve Rattner, resigned on July 13 and was promptly replaced by former steel workers union boss Ron Bloom.  According to CBS News, Rattner left "to return to private life and spend time with his family." Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner said, "I hope that he takes another opportunity to bring his unique skills to government service in the future."  By the way, Rattner is under investigation for a multi-million dollar pay-to-play investment bank scandal in New York . Uh-oh! But, we're certain that had nothing to do with his resignation. And, according to several news sources out there, there are rumors he's being investigated for what could be pay-to-play scandal involving the closing of Chrysler and GM dealerships. Really? Again, that couldn't have anything to with his resignation- that's ridiculous! Like CBS said, this guy just wants to "spend more quality time with his family." Obama has 32 personally appointed "czars" who answer to no one but him, all of whom are acting without any Constitutional authority. But hey, we're sure they all have "unique skills," as Tim Geithner likes to say!

By;  ST  of Oregon